Alternatively titled, is the quality of single men seemingly lacking or is there something wrong with me?
To save you from embarassment, I’ll start you with a
Public Service Announcement for my family- if you are, in any way, related to me, please stop reading this post. Go click on this one– you’ll be happier. Ignorance is bliss. You’re welcome!
Dear Twenty Somethings,
In wake of last week’s serious post, I decided to write about something much more hilarious- dating. Recently, I came across the Single Girl, Serenity Prayer (prompting me to start writing this post) and have barely stopped laughing since.
Connie Sun and her comics, particularly The Adventures of Single Girl, speak to me. Maybe I’ve just had a long string of bad dates and bad relationship; maybe I just am “unlucky in love”. Or maybe, just MAYBE dating is the actual worst. Okay, maybe not actually the worst. There’s still natural disasters, the threat of nuclear war, hatred, and Nickleback to contend with, but I digress. Really, the only thing worse than dating and being single (and all the other actual problems in the world) is the contrived things people say to single people, but that’s a post for another day.
Sometimes, when a slight feeling of desperation and loneliness hit, I delve into the world of online dating a.k.a. BIG MISTAKE. There are a ton of websites and apps to help with this, each one as seemingly horrible as the last. Here are just a few of the gem messages I have received (names and pictures hidden to protect the
there are two types of people
what does this joke even mean?
Those were just the ones I could show you! The anonymity of online dating makes people save brave (and often creepy) things.
For all you twenty-somethings out there, here are some pieces of (more unsolicited) advice on dating for you:
- In my experience, most of the time “entrepreneur” is a euphemism for unemployed. Avoid them like the plague, unless they put in their bios specific details of their entrepreneurship.
- In the days of catfishes, ghosters and whatever new millenial dating terms are out there (honestly, who can keep up), remember if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it’s probably a duck.
- Speaking of ducks, duck face is out. Just don’t…
- If he has a picture with a puppy, you’re probably legally obligated to swipe right. If you don’t like him, you can probably use him for his dog.
- If you’re taken and your friend is single, for the love of all that is holy please don’t spew cliches like “you’ll find someone when you least expect it.” We get it, you have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Despite my misgivings, I keep coming back for more. One day when I least expect it (seriously, don’t make me regret our friendship Sally), I’ll find the perfect someone. Until then, I’ll be content with tweeting gems like these:
P.S. Any dating tips for us perpetually single twenty-somethings? Help a girl out and leave it them in the comments or shoot me a message through our contact me page. I’ll even accept dating applications (providing you have access to a puppy.)